I’m used to feeling like an outsider. Whether it’s due to my age, upbringing, interests or goals, I have always been the “weird” kid with the unpopular opinions. I think Generation Y is coddled and short-sighted; Beyonce is overrated and garish; and yoga is pretentious and proprietary. As you can imagine, while growing up, I didn’t sit at the cool table in the cafeteria and I felt Daria Morgendorffer was my sister in arms.
So it’s no surprise to me that as a freelancer, I’m still the outsider. I respect and adore the freelancing community, but my position as the weird kid with the unpopular opinions hasn’t changed. Freelancers — just like everyone else — seek acceptance and adulation. And during my journey down this freelancing road, I’ve noticed that many entrepreneurs spout the same ideas, admire the same people, and market the same strategies.
Great minds may think alike, but not all ideas are made equal and fear of dissent can breed frustration and disillusion.
And no where did I feel frustration and disillusion more than my recent review of The Write Life magazine. Bear in mind, I’m not bashing the magazine at all. I think its premise is fantastic. I couldn’t be happier for Laura Pepper Wu and her team of enterprising creatives. They’ve clearly produced something that strikes a chord with so many writers.
But when I read about their inspiration and the description of their audience, I immediately felt like that weird kid who doesn’t see the world they same way as the majority. I don’t admire Apple, I loathe Richard Branson, and I had to Google Warby Parker to find out what the heck it was. In the magazine’s media kit, we learn about The Write Life’s perfect reader, Amy. I’ve met my fair share of Amy’s in the freelance world, but I fear I am no Amy.
I love how the magazine views writing as a lifestyle, not just an occupation. Yet, I can’t help but wonder that if I never find the success of Carol Tice or John Soares, is it because I don’t fit the description of Amy? Is my individuality a detriment to my success? And if so, am I willing to conform to the popular image of the freelance writer to achieve more success?
As you may have guessed, my answer is no. I’ve said many times that everyone must do what works for their life and goals. So if I prefer pilates over yoga, cars over buses, and vodka over wine, will I be shunned by the “cool” kids in the cafeteria? Or more importantly, if I refuse to choose a niche, prefer to work late than rise early, and run away from book clubs and writing groups at Ludicrous Speed, will I never find true success as a freelance writer?
Rest assured, I’m not a rebel. I don’t go against the grain for the sake of making waves or to label myself as a counter-culture figure. Authenticity will always be questioned by critics, but I trust myself enough to say, “That’s not for me,” and stand by my declaration regardless of naysayers. I believe my individuality will only help my business. Yet, many successful freelancers insist that you must follow in their footsteps to build a life supported solely by your creative work.
So if I fail while forging my own path, does that mean I should’ve followed the crowd? I think Amy’s goals mirror my own, but the differences in our lifestyles may lead her to that promotion, literary agent or weekly magazine column much faster than I. And if it does, will it be because she spouted the same ideas, admired the same people, and marketed the same strategies as the freelancers at the cool table?
Does fitting in increase our chances of freelance success?
In what areas do you feel like the weird kid with unpopular opinions?
Well said (as usual), Candace. I think I've been lucky when talking to other freelance writers, because I associate with you, PJ, Emily Suess, Natalia Sylvester, and a few others. I think we're all "the oddballs" in the best sense of the word. We drum our own beats.
I don't like being told what to like either. I gravitate to what inspires me. If that dovetails with what the "cool kids" like, then great, they can follow my lead. 😉
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Thanks Mahesh! I think deep down, no matter what stage of life we're in, we all just want to be accepted for who we really are. That applies equally to our social lives and our careers.
Reading through the first few issues of The Write Life definitely made me feel like Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club. But then I remembered, Ally Sheedy was my favorite in The Breakfast Club. LOL!
I agree it certainly helps to find a group of people who themselves are the Freaks & Geeks of the freelancing community (How many pop culture references can I stuff into this discussion?). It's nice to see others finding success while walking their own path, if for no other reason than to encourage you to say, "I'm going to walk my own path too."
My recent post Freelancing At The Cool Table
Good post Candace!
I'm definitely not at the cool kids table.
If I had to categorize myself, I'm probably that annoying kid that follows the cool kids around,but who they put up with because she helps them with their homework.
Although, I think it's normal to feel like you don't fit in. 🙂
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Thanks Laura! I appreciate you stopping by. I've been reading your posts for a long time, and I can definitely say that I think you're at the cool table in the freelance writing community. You have many admirers and your opinion is certainly valued in a lot of writing circles.
I like your classification of your high school self. 🙂 I remember watching Daria in high school/college and thinking how it was the first TV show that captured my teen years perfectly.
Alienation is sadly normal, but I think the freelancing community is wonderful about supporting people who in a different sphere would only be seen as competition or a threat. Yet, I think there's room for growth. I think we have fostered this cliched image of the "modern freelance writer." In some ways, it's comforting to see the similarities. In other ways, it's disheartening to see dissent frowned upon.
My recent post Freelancing At The Cool Table
Cool post 🙂
Thanks Grace! I appreciate you taking the time to not only read my post, but stop by and leave kind words. 😀
You are welcome – non-coolies need to stick together! Seriously I found it a very interesting read and it resonated with me a great deal- see below. I've been to the cool-table and just wanted to hide underneath it 🙂
http://www.practicalcreativewriting.com/the-power…
Hello Candace. I saw the headline for this post a couple of days ago, didn't have time to read the article (but knew I wanted to) was finally able to breath today and remembered –ooh, I want to read that article about freelance cliques. Great topic!
I've noticed them as well (how could you not?), and sure, much of the advice is sound, but at the end of the day, I believe you gotta be who you gotta be. A good idea is a good idea, but there's more than one way to skin a cat, too. As I've often stated "I'm not a joiner." Nice to meet some other "non-joiners" as well!
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Hi Crystal,
Thanks for remembering to stop by and read my post. I know there's a lot of blogs out there (literally millions), so it's hard to divide your attention among them. I also appreciate you taking the time to not only read my post, but to leave a comment. 🙂
It's definitely nice to know that there are other "non-joiners" out there. I see a lot of the freelance advice going around out there, and some of it is sound. But as you mentioned, there's more than one way to skin a cat, and I think that's a message that gets lost in the rush to cosign the most popular route.
I'm still trying to find my way in my business, of course. But from where I hear, even the "veteran" freelance writers are constantly in a state of assessing their growth and where they'd like to go, so I know it's a unending learning process. My question is: "Why do so many freelancers speak as if there's just one answer or path to success?"
I can't help but wonder if the "cool table" mentality has played a role.
My recent post Freelancing At The Cool Table
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